One of the Christian stations (there seem to be hundreds around) regularly plays a show called "Crown Ministries." Now, I'm about to make some comments about my reaction to Crown Ministries. I'm not necessarily knocking what they do.
Crown Ministries is committed to helping people manage their money in a Biblical way. How to save, how to give, how to tithe, how to borrow, how to buy, etc. Now, I've only been pondering this, but I've been struggling with the reality that the early church simply "sold their property and possessions and gave the money to whoever needed it" (Acts 2:45). What does that mean for us? But I digress in that discussion away from what I was going to say...
My problem with the radio show is that...I don't have any money...and I feel guilty that I don't have any money, I'm not saving regularly, and even though I have tithed with quite a bit of dicipline when I had an income...I haven't had a consistent income for very long most of my adult life. I haven't had a steady income for a long time now.
Seriously...I don't have a steady income, normal life, or regular job. I've known what it's like to be totally relaxed and feeling like tomorrow is all taken care of financially and then I've also been a few dollars short of being "in the red."
I really struggle between two things: 1) the Christians who seem to imply that if you handle your money well, God will bless you with more money, and then 2) what Jesus says to his disciples about "take no bag for the journey, or extra tunic, or sandals or a staff; for the worker is worth his keep" (Matthew 10:10) and all the other stories that seem to say "follow me at all cost"...and that includes financial well-being.
I just have come to the conclusion that following Jesus is not so financially blissfull as all that.
In fact, I've kind of been pondering the reality that...it's quite a worldly bit of suffering to follow Jesus.
DUH!
I sometimes think I wasn't reading the Bible all these years...or just glancing over those passages and quietly thinking, "Well, that's only for some" or "That doesn't apply to suffering financially" or in "employment" or in "relationships" or maybe it doesn't apply suffering to that part of life.
I am reading, "Reclaiming God's Original Intent for the Church." The foreward talks about giving up up church as he knew it...and he's trying something different. This passage hit home quite readily for me:
Too often the whole church event feels like...a well-orchestrated event more than a throbbing-with-life community. The raw realism of the Bible is too often sugar-coated with cheerily optimistic promises that God wants you happily married, financially secure, and alive with a sense of adventure and romance. Whether it's a megachurch parading it's A-team every Sunday before a packed house of struggling people who are helped to pretend things aren't so bad, or whether it's a single-pastor congregation of a hundred faithful members trying to believe that life can work better than it does, the problem is the same: too often the church is aiming its people toward self-fullfillment through God's blessings and away from the failure and pain that could bring its people together as the community of the broken but loved and hopeful because of Jesus.Ah yes...I am tired of that kind of church, too.
Kind of like the money thing...I don't have money, so why do I listen to the idea that I should have it (whether it's my idea or not).
I am not perfect, nor have I arrived in spiritual, mature bliss yet. So, why do I listen to the idea, and portray the idea, that I should have it and so should everyone else?
Pain, brokenness, and failure. It does seem that it's through those things that the people of the Bible found God. It was through pain, brokenness, and failure that the disciples grew to know Jesus.
Do we want God enough to accept the pain, brokenness, and failure that comes with seeking Him in our lives? Or, do we want to avoid those things, and end up with something less than all He is and has for us?
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